Don't make me come down there!
by Kira Krueger
Summary: Freddy and the gang are living with a girl named Heather, who has to help them fulfill their last Life Lesson... But Pinhead has other Ideas...To drag the whole gang back to Hell...Can Heather team up with a co-worker to save her friends? I own NOTHING!
1. FREDDY!

"Okay...who threw Chucky out the window."

I looked at each of my friends in turn.

"He did it! He did it! HE DID IT!" Chucky shrieked.

Jason looked guilty.

"Jason do you know who did this. Hmm?" I whispered, briskly striding to his end of the kitchen. My new, glossy heels made a no nonsense click-clack noise on the tile floor as I strode by everyone else. Jason's good eye was staring Freddy down. Freddy was propped up against the counter 'reading' a magazine that was upside down. I should have known who would have given Jason the idea to throw someone else out of a window.

"Jason..." I started slowly. "did you throw Chucky out of the window?"

Jason nodded as slowly as I spoke.

"He nearly hit me." I said sitting Chucky down.

Jason stared straight ahead.

"Don't throw anyone else out that window. Do you understand me?"

Jason looked like he was gonna cry.

"Jay, your not in trouble...Don't do it again though."

"Yeah Lumpy, it hurts!"

"Charles, I can handle it. Thanks for the help though."

(You have to speak to Jason like you would a small child sometimes.)

Jason nodded again. This time in Freddy's direction.

"I can not say the same for _**Fredrick**_ however."


	2. The argument that never was

I turned my back on Freddy for the moment. Putting on my most cheerful smile possible I turned to to the other two in the room.

"Why don't you guys go watch TV until Michael gets back from...uh,...whatever he does." I suggested.

"I wanna watch you and Freddy fight..." Chucky whined.

"_**Fredrick**_ and I aren't going to fight, so there's no reason to hang about." I started half-heartedly.

"When you call him _**Fredrick**_ your mad at him and you always fight."

I lost my composure.

"GO. WATCH. TV. NOW!"

Needless to say Chucky and Jason vacated the kitchen quickly, leaving Freddy and I to have a little heart-to-heart.

I closed the kitchen door.

"God Freddy, I don't know how many times I've been through this with you... I'm sick of you ordering everyone else in this house around like servants. You _**KNOW**_ that Jason is..."

"Stupid?"

"No."

"Retarded?"

"...No..."

"Gaytarded?"

"NO!"

I took a breath and continued evenly.

"He's..."

Freddy opened his mouth like he was gonna fill in the blank.

"Impressionable." I finished.

Freddy closed his mouth.

"Sometimes I wonder why I ended up having to babysit you...sometimes I wish that you w..."

"ern't here? Yeah, I wish that to. God Heather, every time I walk in the freak'in door I get the freak'in third degree for crap I didn't do." Freddy started angrily.

"No _**Fredrick**_ I wish you would behave for once in your life!" I shouted.

"Then it's a good thing I'm dead, huh!?" Freddy yelled back.

"Besides Pincushion said it was only until I learned some life lesson I must have missed, then I won't have to deal with you anymore." Freddy took comfort in knowing he wouldn't have to deal with me after he learned whatever it was that Elliot/Pinhead wanted him to learn. He was free after that. I'd never have to see him again, and that was an uncomfortable thought.

"...Furthermore, I can take care of myself. I've done it before and I can do it again."

"Freddy, you bear watching constantly. And, No, you can't take care of yourself. If you could, you wouldn't be living in my apartment, sleeping on my couch..."

Freddy grabbed a can of pringles from the cabinet above his head.

"...Eating my food..."

I plucked the brightly colored package from his hands.

"Wasn't hungry anyway..." Freddy whispered to himself. He walked toward the phone.

"Using my phone."

"And so the list goes on. I get it already."

Freddy edged toward the kitchen door.

"Oh, and _Fredrick..._temper, temper."

He muttered something unintelligible under his breath. Swearing no doubt. I smiled to myself as I started dinner.


	3. There is not a bad enough for you!

~~~*Dinner*~~~

The whole gang was seated at the kitchen table.

Everyone had already fixed a plate for themself.

"Jason, mask off at the table. Please?"

He took it off.

"Someone say grace."

Freddy did as I asked for once.

"Lord, thank you for today and the chickens that had to die so that me and the guys could eat, and because sooner or later I won't have to deal with Heather..."

"Enough _**Fredrick**_." I warned.

A very long pause, (in which everyone looked up from their plates,) occured between Freddy and I.

He looked down first.

"You could turn someone to stone with a look like that." Freddy said looking down at his chicken.

I made faces at him from the counter.

Chucky tried to change the subject.

"You know we heard the whole conversation, and this is what me and Jason think:

1.) Jason is a new level of genius. He's so smart as a matter of fact he does what everyone tells him to, so he can save everyone the brainwork of understanding why he can't do what they ask.

2.) No one else can stand Freddy long enough to babysit him for more than five minutes, Plus you are the only one with enough patience to deal with him.

3.) Fredrick you don't always get the third degree. You normally deserve it though.

4.) You most certainly can NOT take care of yourself. You've blown up your house boiling water before.

5.) You do need to be watched constantly.

(looking at me)

6.) He could sleep plenty of other places: The floor, on the washing machine, under the sink, in the tub,...With you......"

I started choking.

"A bit early to be thinking about THAT kind of stuff..."

I started to turn green.

"You..."

"And then we can have 18 kids..."

"Dirty..."

"We'll name them..."

"Old..."

"Freddy jr."

"Man."

"We can live here. I'll stay home all day, you know take care of stuff...snot nosed brats and crap, just to be home when you get back and then you can fix dinner, sorry guys you'll have to go live somewhere else, because when Heather gets home, that's our alone with 18 kids time... and then after about 15 minutes you could put them to bed, and then we could have our alone time to...

It took me a minute to figure out they were kidding. They knew it was just dawning on me.

Then they started laughing.

"Oh my god, you thought I was serious?!" Freddy snorted.

"God, enough with the sick little fantasy of yours. Do you have to say crap like that while I'm eating! I think I'm gonna be sick you jerk!"

"Hey, you were the one eating it up. Not me."

"Liar, Liar, you were believeing it to!" Chucky screeched.

"What exactly are you accusing me of!?"

"Being a pervert."

"I happily except that title."

"You know what?! Get out of my house _**Fredrick**_!" I screamed.

"Heather I was kidding! Please don't throw me out, because technically that was an open ended statment...whatever you inferred from it was your fault..."

I shoved his hat in his hands.

"Out."

"Heather..."

"Get."

"Please don't..."

"Out."

"It's really cold..."

"Now."

"Alright. I'm going, but if I freeze my balls off..."

I pushed him out into the cold, and slammed the door.

I went to the livingroom to watch TV, truth be told...I forgot Freddy was outside...

My bad.


	4. Breakfast Disputes and Bdays

(Next Morning's Breakfast)

I woke-up early just to fix a really good breakfast.

It was someone's birthday today.

Jason and Chucky woke-up after awhile.

"Morning Guys!" I squeaked.

They quickly filled their plates with their favorite breakfast foods.

I sat down and jumped back up.

"I forgot the paper."

"You don't read the newspaper." Chucky started nervously.

"No, but Freddy...FREDRICK!"

We all raced to the door.

I threw it open. My heart sank.

"Freddy?!" He was frozen solid.

Only his eyes were moving. I didn't notice that until after I made an idiot of myself.

"I killed him! Our bestest friend ever! I killed him!" I sobbed.

"Oh my god, we never got to say bye, or we loved him, or that maybe what he said yesterday wasn't that gross, or that one time Jason used his toothbrush, or..."

"You let him use my toothbrush?" Freddy 's expression was livid.

"Your alive! your ali...Wait so you just heard all that?"

His expression was thoughtful.

"Yup."

I gave him a hug.

"What was with all that 'we' stuff?" Chucky asked.

"We is what you say when you don't want to look stupid." I explained picking my way to the kitchen.

I suddenly remembered the surprise I had hidden under my bed.

"Jason do you wanna go get the presents under the bed?"

He nodded in the affirmative, and quickly brought them back to the table.

Jason threw his gift at Freddy.

"A toothbrush?"

Jason looked at him expectantly.

"Have you used it too?"

"Guys?" I mumbled.

"Me and Chucky both thought you'd like it..."

Chucky handed it up to him.

"An ipod...TOUCH!"

"Do you like it?" I asked quietly.

"Yes. I love it."

I suddenly remembered something.

I never called into work.

I grabbed Chucky.

"Where are you going?" Freddy asked.

"To work."

"Why is he going?"

"He's deathly sick."

"Liar."

I didn't hear. I was half way to my Corvette.

I threw Chucky into the passenger seat.

He was quiet for awhile, and stared out the window as country gave way to city.

When he spoke his voice was firm and even.

"Heather, we love you..."

I threw on the brakes.

"Really? If you guys did then why don't you work with me instead of against me? huh?

Elliot is already on my case because of specific deadlines that have to be met....besides the way things are going Elliot might find someone else to help aid in the process of morals and all that crap..."

"You mean we might have to leave?"

"Yes. And it's all Freddy's fault!" I sobbed.

"He can't force us to. Can he?"

"Not the way he talks. As a matter of fact he's gonna love every minute of dragging you back..." I sobbed harder.

"Can we stop him? Wait, how do you know?"

"I talked to him yesterday about..."

"Freddy?"

"Yes, because of him, you all have to leave!"

"We'll worry about it when we get home, right now, I have to die."


	5. A date!

(Patrick Jane/The mentalist Isn't mine...I wish he were!)

One of my co-workers, Alister McDell was locking up the doors to the law firm we worked for. He was my long standing crush. Of course, I never told him that. Everyone at home teased me about it.

He spotted my car and motioned for me to come over and get my papers.

I opened my car door, and made my way carefully to the sidewalk where he was waiting.

"Hi, Alister!" I called.

I suddenly slipped on a patch of ice. Alister caught me though.

"Thanks."

"No Problem."

"Oh get a room." Chucky groaned.

"Hey, look, here comes Whitney and Patrick." Alister pointed out.

"NO.......," Chucky screamed, "they're worse than you two love birds!"

"Oh Whitney your eyes are like....two green pools of....something green..." Patrick admonished.

"Oh Patrick you have SUCH a way with words..." Whitney sighed into Patrick's shoulder.

"Shoot me now!" Chucky shrieked.

"You were like that at one time Charles..." I said outloud. "weren't you?"

"Do you want to go on a double date tonight?" Alister asked saving Chucky from answering Heather's question.

"A double date?" Patrick asked.

"Yeah. You and Whitney with me and Heather."

"Are you asking me on a DATE?" Heather shrieked, her voice several octaves above its natural level.

"Uh sure if that's how you want to look at it." Alister stuttered suddenly regretting his decision.

"Oh. But won't Darren get jealous?" Chucky sneered.

"Excuse me?" Alister choked trying to keep is cool.

"You heard me: Won't Darren get jealous?"

"Why you son of a.........." Alister started.

"Now boys play nice." Whitney interrupted.

"Oh aren't you just so cute when your in control!" Patrick cooed causing Chucky to gag.

"Darren? I haven't seen him since,what?, High School." Alister started.

"Not what he said on his visit to your house yesterday." Chucky insisted.

"Alister, I didn't mean to freak-out. I think I have other things to do though. Sorry." I murmered recovering.

"Darn you, Chucky!!! You blew my cover!" Alister growled (like Mr. Blevins) and launched himself across the sidewalk.

"Oh Patrick I can't watch this. You know I can't take violence." Whitney purred turning and hiding her face in Patrick's arm.

"WE'RE JUST KIDDING!!!!" Chucky yelled.

"So...do you wanna go with me or not?" Alister questioned.

"..."

"Yes she would." Chucky answered.

I nodded gratefully toward him. He smiled, or something like it.


	6. What the CRAP people!

"Maybe a shower?" Freddy suddenly said behind our group.

"Fredrick! Me and Alister wouldn't..."

"I didn't mean with him, I meant with me."

Alister's mouth dropped open.

"I'll ride with you and Chucky. My Home Boy." Alister grinned.

"Seriously, I call dibs on Heather and that shower first." Freddy warned.

"Um,....O.k...."

"Fredrick!"

"PATRICK MAKE IT STOP!!!!!" Whitney whined.

"Its okay, Carebear!" Patrick soothed, slipping his arms around her.

"Oh. Please. GIVE. ME. A. BREAK!!!! Chucky moaned turning green and barfed all over Patrick's shoes.

"Heather quick shield your eyes before they are burned through." Alister exclaimed placing his hands over her eyes.

"Hey, get your hands off her you, perv." Freddy growled.

"Oh, come on lighten up. You get the first shower, remember?" Alister sneered.

"Stupid shower." Freddy murmured.

"This is SO random!" I yelled running down the street.

"Heather, baby, I'm telling you Lori meant nothing to me. I SWEAR!" Freddy hollered after me.

"Why is my life so...messed up." I sobbed sinking to my knees in a bank a block away.

"Why aren't my friends normal?

Why is Freddy such a rapist/Pervert?

Do I really need the shower?" I sobbed as a granny walked past.

Alister pulled up in my Corvette a few minutes later. I ran out to him.

"I'm so sorry about Freddy."

"I tied him up and threw him in the trunk."

"Really?" I asked hopefully.

"No. He just said he would be waiting for us at your house." Alister huffed.

Sitting in passenger seat was a new experience with Alister driving. I kept stealing glances at him. I marveled at the peaceful look of serenity across is gorgeous face. I wondered the thoughts that were being contimplated behind those pale blue eyes of his. He looked over and I didn't turn away in time. He had caught me adoring him. He began smiling and I smiled back.

"Your really pretty when you smile."

I was taken aback. No one had ever called me pretty before not even my parents. I didn't know how to take it. He looked at me a minute more.

"Look Alister, I'm sorry. I....don't know what that was about today..." I started.

"It doesn't matter. Chucky was just messing with me, and Freddy...I won't lie that's strange...but whatever."

"So...about tonight...are we still on?" I asked meekly, half afraid he'd say no.

"Yeah."

We pulled up in front of my apartment building.

Alister walked me to the door.


	7. What a mess I've made

"Um, what about the third one?" Alister asked nervously.

"Jason?" I giggled. "He's a sweetheart."

I unlocked the door expecting some sort of greeting, but no one was there. Only a huge mess was left. Freddy and Chucky were clinging onto the couch for dear life, and there was no Jason.

"What happened?!" I said. (though it wasn't very audible.)

"Jason was furious because he thinks your dumping us for Mr. Hormones over there," Freddy started.

"I don't want to hear it. Your the one talking about having me in the shower." I scolded.

"Yes, but I can sorta control mine." Freddy retorted.

After a minute of thinking the situation over I decided that I could:

1.) Tell Alister that I couldn't go out with him and when Jason got back I could explain things more adequetly or...

2.) I could just ignore it all and go have fun this evening.

"Excuse me. I'm going to go change now."

I rushed past them all to get to my room.

I picked a tee shirt and jeans. I decided to put my hair in a ponytail. I appraised myself in the mirror. After a last minute decision to exchange the tee for a blouse I walked back to the livingroom.

"When Jason gets back he has a huge mess to clean up." I instructed, hand on the already turning doorknob.

"Wait?! What are we going to eat?!" Freddy squealed.

"Whatever you want." I answered.

I stepped out the door without so much as looking back.

As we approached the car, a figure tried to conseal himself behind the bushes.

Alister saw it the same time I did, I gave him a smile that said play along. He nodded.

"You know I got Charles and Freddy's approval...But I wish I had Jason's approval as well..."

We sat down on a bench across from the bushes.

"I don't know why he wasn't home..."

"It would make me feel better..."

"Oh well, I guess..."

"What?"

"I guess it doesn't matter to him." I said pouting.

Alister put his arm around me.

"I guess..."

All of a sudden 328.9 pounds came tearing out of the bushes. Slowing only as it neared the bench.

"Oh, Jason...wasn't expecting you...out here..."

He was looking over my shoulder with a hateful glare.

"Jason, he's not replacing you,or the other guys...It's just that I need a guy friend who's alive...Not that I don't like you guys...just..."

Jason nodded my way and stalked off.

"What a mess I've made..." I whispered.


	8. Elliot?

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Heather and Alister.

"That could have gone better." I mumbled.

Alister opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a shrill scream from behind us.

"Michael! Please don't hurt me! I'm your sister after all...that's got to count for something!"

I groaned.

This would not be the first time Michael had stalked Laurie, basically herding her toward my apartment building...I still didn't know why.

All I knew was that I had just shampooed the carpets, and there was no way in hell that he was going to ruin them by massacring his stupid sister on them.

If indeed, that was what he was planning on.

Alister looked over his shoulder.

"I forgot about him..."

"Hold on..." I sighed.

I got to my feet, and walked behind the bench.

Michael and Laurie glanced my way briefly before facing one another again.

"GIVE IT A REST ALREADY!" I yelled, hurling the command at the pair.

Laurie looked like the force of my command had been a physical attack.

Michael stood there stupefied for moment before raising his knife over Laurie's head.

Laurie took the opportunity to knee him in the crotch.

Michael went cross-eyed for a second.

I scowled at Laurie.

Michael was a killer, yes...but still, Laurie shouldn't have fought dirty.

"There is no call for this Brother-Sister rivalry! It is pointless...

So, Michael murdered your friends and family...Big deal! Get over it!...

Michael, you come here this instant!"

He trudged over to where I was standing.

"This is the last warning...LEAVE LAURIE ALONE."

He shook his head left to right.

"Did you just back talk me...NONVERBALLY, mister?"

Again he shook his head left to right.

"Michael Myers, you just lied to me."

I smacked the back of his head.

"Alister...I'll be back in a moment."

I grabbed Michael by the sleeve roughly, and dragged him back into the apartment.

Chucky and Freddy were watching TV and Jason was cleaning up.

They all looked up when I slammed the door open.

I pushed Michael inside, and then entered myself.

"Back already?" Chucky asked not looking up from the TV.

"NO, BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE EVERYONE'S BABY SITTER!"

That outburst made everyone look up in shock.

"Charles, you make the rules, and Jason you enforce them. I'll be back later...If you need me, please DON'T call." I slammed the door once more when I left.

"What do think got into her?" Freddy asked unfazed by the yelling that had just taken place.

Everyone else was trembling.

Freddy laughed, taking the expression on Chucky's face in, and thinking about the looks on the other guys faces behind their masks.

"W-w-why are you laughing...Heather is extremely pissed off...N-n-not a laughing matter." Chucky squeaked.

"I've faced her wrath enough times to know after she cools down, she forgets things...easily."

Freddy grinned thinking of all the times he'd narrowly escaped a punishment, due to Heather forgetting it at the last minute.

There was a knock on the apartment door.

Everyone exchanged a glance.

For some reason no one wanted to know who it was.

It was an ominous knock, malevolent in its wake

The echo was magnificent.

Freddy coughed nervously.

He walked to the door, put his eye to the peep hole, and turned to face the other guys.

"It's Elliot...Wonder what he wants?"

"Don't open the door!" Chucky wailed.

To late...Pinhead was already striding into the house.

"Good evening, gentleman...I'll be escorting you back home...Hell."

"What?!" Freddy said confused.

"When we get there, we'll talk in my office."

"But...WHY?!"

Pinhead ignored the question.

"We have a place prepared just for you Fredrick...since you'll be with us for awhile."

Pinhead wrapped his magical chains around Freddy.

It was almost impossible for him to not cry out in pain as the chains dug into his burned flesh.

He motioned toward the Chucky and Jason.

They disappeared.

Pinhead nodded at Michael, who bowed slightly.

Without another word, Pinhead waved his hand and Laurie popped up in the center of the room.

Michael's eyes widened.

"Can I trust you to get rid of Heather?" Pinhead asked.

Michael nodded his head yes.

"What are you going to do to her?! Where's Chucky and Jason?!" Freddy hollered, fighting his bonds.

They tightened.

"They have been sent before you, anxiously awaiting your arrival."

Pinhead began dragging him away.

"Michael, If you touch Heather, So help me god I'll kill you!"

Michael turned back to Laurie.

'Oh what fun this will be!' He thought.


	9. Drinks too many

Disclaimer: I only own Heather and Alister.

Alister brought me home early due to...um, one to many drinks...

Alister explained to me what happened next.

I was shocked when I learned that Michael....

I'll explain later, I'm nursing a hangover....


	10. Alister!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Heather and Alister.

Alister says he brought me home after too many drinks.

I'll buy that I have the headache to prove it still...

Here are some events that I vaguely remember:

Alister and I had been eating at Olive Garden, and I drank way to much.

I potentially caused a scene, and Alister lead me back to the car.

I caught my reflection in the mirror: bloodshot eyes, sickly pale...

I began crying.

Alister stared at me in shock.

"Heather?! What the fuck is wrong with you?" Alister asked, wondering what could have set me off.

"I'm wearing purple and...Blue. TOGETHER!" I sobbed.

"WHAT?!" Alister yelled throwing on the brakes in the middle of the road.

"I'm wearing PURPLE AND BLUE....TOGETHER!" I sobbed again.

"Why is that important?!" Alister screamed.

"I just realized, that, um..."

"What?!"

"I don't like Purple..."

"HEATHER!"

I stared silently out the window.

I was drunk for god's sake...what did he expect?!

After what felt like an eternity, we arrived at my apartment.

"Do you need me to carry you?" Alister asked eyeing me warily.

"No, Thank you!" I huffed, springing from the car, and falling onto the grass.

"Shit." Alister grumbled walking around the car to me.

He picked me up.

I liked the solid warmth of his arms around me.

Call it the rant of a drunk woman, but I think right then is when I realized I loved Alister.

I held on to him.

We reached my door way to early.

"Where is the key?"

"My purse is in the house."

"Where is the spare key?"

You just _know_ how that sounded to me.

"I think it's under the door mat...why?" I purred.

Alister gulped audibly.

He quickly picked it up and opened the door.

"OH MY GOD!" I shrieked in Alister's ear.

"CHRIST! NOT IN MY FUCKING EAR!" Alister shouted back.

As we argued...we didn't notice the person sneaking inch by inch closer to us.

"Alister....LOOK OUT!" I screamed before being knocked out by something.


	11. Mikey, Baby?

Disclaimer: I only own Heather and Alister....nothing else!

Laurie stood wide eyed over the act she committed.

She had agreed to help Michael kill this girl who had saved her ass so many times.

"What the _hell_?" Alister screamed, taking all of it in to fast.

Laurie smiled awkwardly before saying friendly like:

"Hi, I'm Laurie Strode...and that's my brother, Michael, he's a psychopath."

"How _lovely_!" Alister sarcastically added.

Laurie's voice dropped and her tone went flat.

"I'm only trying to help!" Laurie defended.

"Why did you do this to Heather, if your trying to help?!"

"With Michael it's kill or be killed....I'd rather kill."

Alister glared at her.

"Help me move her to her room then..."

'Can't let Elliot down!'

Michael's knife came crashing down on the table narrowly missing Alister's back.

Heather came around.

"Michael?! What are you..."

He jabbed the knife at her chest.

"Michael?! Why are you doing this?!"

He shrugged and moved slowly forward.

My body was paralyzed in fear.

He was looming over me knife raised.

"Wait...Michael...Please let me talk you out of this..."

He shook his head.

I remembered what Dr. Loomis said to me after I found out he'd be staying with me.

"Talk to him like you would a friend...Michael needs to be told what his problem is before he can calm down..."

He hadn't moved, so I suppose he anticipated me going on.

I thought hard.

I spoke softly...quietly.

"You know what I think...I think you lash out at others because your afraid you might actually love them, I also think that someone very close to baby Mikey, hurt him...And the damage was done there..."

I pointed at his heart from where I was standing.

He looked down briefly, and shook his head no.

It wasn't working.

I needed to bring him down to my level...But what to do?

He was closing in fast.

(*Any ideas how?)


	12. How the Hannibal?

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Heather and Alister.

Damn it.

He was closing in to fast...

I read the shock on Alister and Laurie's faces.

They were immobile statues of marble.

I looked at Michael, his gaze unrelenting...ever present on me.

He crept closer.

An idea popped into my head randomly, as the saying:

"Fearless flirt." rolled by.

I fluffed myself up trying to appear sexy...

I prayed it worked.

"_Michael?" whimpered seductively._

Silence....still creeping forward...

"_Michael, Michael, Michael..." I whispered._

Michael stopped and threw his hands in the air helplessly.

'Damn it woman...let me kill you already!'

"_I love your name it's so...Why don't you put that knife down? Your totally ruining the moment...It's also very distracting."_

'What the hell is with her?!'

He wouldn't let go of the frikk'in knife...I'd try harder...

I decided that he wouldn't kill me if I sidled up next to him.

After a moment I caught sight of the knife...It's metallic glint reassuring me of a probable death...

Oh well, all I knew was I was fucked if Michael didn't fall for this, and I didn't disarm him...

"_Michael, have you been working out?!"_ I squealed in girlish delight, feigned of course.

I busily caressed his chest, then massaged his shoulders.

'Shit, I'll let her have her fun...get it out of her system..."

I studied Michael a few minutes more, said pointless gush, and used huge words to describe him...

Thank god I read : _**'Dr. Lector's guide to charm'**_.

Stupid Cannibal did something right...

Let's just say Clarice is **not** the only woman to fall for Hannibal's Bull shit...And what wonderful bullshit it is...coming from him anyway...

Michael sensed I was losing interest quick.

"_I'm sorry Hanni....uh,...Michael? Where were we_?"

'Did she almost say Hannibal?! Son of a bitch...I've been played...damn Lector.'

Michael moved forward with a violent thrust.

I wasn't worried. I knew the second part well...I'd re-read just to make sure it was perfectly etched in my memory.

"Michael...Don't make me do this..."

He still moved forward.

'Do what?'

I slunk forward meeting him half-way across the room.

'What the hell?!'

I grabbed Michael's wrists restraining them just in case he tried to stab me.

He was not ruining the make believe mood/ambiance...not this time.

Only over my cold, lifeless, mangled body...

_'Stop it'_ I commanded my self firmly.

All eyes on me.

I suppose there are many poetic ways I could describe the moment I kissed him...

But the only thing I can say is this...

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!

After a second we pulled apart.

Both of us completely weirded out.

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

Why the hell wasn't Hannibal around when I needed him!?

Michael grabbed a pad of paper from the side table, produced a pen and wrote:

'Does Hannibal know about this?'

"Smart ass."

He took it back and wrote again:

'Does Freddy know? Can I have that shower?'

"Shit. NO ONE GETS THE SHOWER!"

Laurie erupted in a fit of giggles.

"If you got your information from this book, in the fine print it says it only works for the talented, witty, charming, Dr. Lector..."

'Lector trying to kiss me?! My god they've lost it.' Michael thought.

"It worked pretty good for me too." I answered smartly.

"How? Michael is still going to kill you." Laurie asked.

I pulled his knife from beside me.

His eyes widened, but stayed calm, proud maybe.

I pointed the knife his way.

"Now, can I talk to you?"

Michael was all ears.

'Stealing my knife, while we kiss?...Classic. Only question...'

Michael angrily scrawled a message and threw it at Laurie.

Laurie read it and again laughed shaking her head no.

Alister looked over her shoulder, and fell in the floor laughing so hard.

"What?"

Laurie threw it to me.

Michael tried to intercept the pass, but I caught the pad of paper.

I began shaking, as violent tremors of laughter wracked my body.

"If you don't stop trying to kill me, I swear I'll show the guys...Blackmail!"

The note said:

LAURIE,

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOLD HER MY TURN ON!

I MEAN THE WHOLE KISSING ME AND STEALING MY KNIFE?

THAT IS A PRICELESS BIT TO BE PROUD OF...

WHY DID YOU TELL HER...YOU...YOU.....

SECRET SPILLER PERSON!

The guys would have a field day with that.

I desperately wanted to talk to Hannibal though...he'd know how to blackmail a person properly.

My phone rang.

I stopped laughing and looked at the caller ID.

"Speak of the Devil, and he'll call your cellphone!"

I sucked in my breath upon answering, just to have it knocked out again when I heard him speak.

"Clarice is reading this Fan Fiction and is not happy...at all!"

"I'm screwed."

"You most certainly are...especially if your alone with Myers for any period of time..."

Everyone heard and began laughing again except Michael.

'Fuck I did it again.'


	13. Showers suck

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Heather and Alister.

Michael shook his head.

"Anyway, did my 'bull shit' work on you?"

From the background I distinctly heard a shriek.

"Hannibal? Is that one of your victims, cause...."

He interrupted me mid sentence.

"What? I swear I didn't actually like her at all...Clarice?!...Watch your mouth, young lady."  
I sighed.

"20 years younger than you lady." I amended, before repeating,

"So, I'm a bitchy, slutty, whore of a girl, huh?"

A slight pause.

"She heard that!..."

Next, I heard a whiny female voice...Clarice?

"Why?! Why?! Why?!"

"What?!" I exclaimed.

A sharp voice replied.

"Huh? Oh, those are the kids...Which are mine, wondering why Daddy is talking to a strange woman..."

I heard the whiny voice again.

"Why, why, why, can't I have the last cookie, Daddy?!"

Stunned silence

"They came from me, not you...Hannibal helped...

We're married...making him mine, and me his...He has a cute ass...which, I case you didn't know, was also...MINE."

Everyone looked at the phone, which was held away from me.

I stared at the phone one eyebrow arched in concern for the woman on the other end.

Perhaps when Hannibal took her for a 'test drive' he had 'accidentally' scrambled her brains by forcing her up against the headboard, and then giving her a pleasant surprise between the sheets, thus making her smack her head against the headboard, causing the brain scrambling...and noticing the leaking brain juice, became hungry, and potentially ate it.

"Now, if you don't mind, I have scheduled a family outing, and really must get back to my family, goodbye."

She hung up hard enough to pop my eardrums.

"Shit, and I didn't even find out how to blackmail Michael."

Alister whispered to Michael.

His eyes lit up, and motioned for me to throw him the paper.

I grabbed the afore mentioned blackmail material, and then threw him the paper.

After a minute he threw it back to me.

"Who says you'd have to blackmail me?"

I looked up smiling.

"You will talk to me then?"

I threw the paper back so he could answer.

He answered alright.

After a patch of quiet searching, Michael got up from the couch, and walked to the small hall bathroom.

I heard the tap to the shower start.

Laurie and Alister began laughing, as Michael emerged from the bathroom (Fully dressed) thank god.

He motioned toward the door grandly.

They began laughing.

I simply repeated:

"Smart ass."

He suddenly, and solemnly looked at me.

I think a resigned sigh escaped me.

"Well, Michael...I guess someone has to have that shower, huh?"

He nodded wisely.

Laurie and Alister just stood there dazed, unspeaking, as I closed the door behind.

Damn Freddy and his shower joke.

_**~ In hell ~**_

_**Freddy and the other guys watch what happened in stony silence.**_

"_**DAMN IT! THAT WAS MY SHOWER!!!! CURSE YOU MICHAEL!!!"**_

_**Pinhead just chuckled sadistically.**_

"_**This is the ultimate torture!" Pinhead whispered to himself.**_

_**The screen went black.**_

_**Freddy was still shouting insults at the darkened screen.**_


	14. Living insanity tied to a chair

Disclaimer: I only own Heather and Alister.

The bathroom door was closed.

I turned to Michael who stared at me earnestly before sticking his arm through the mirror above the sink and counter.

This, he explained, was the gate way to Pinhead's hell, and my friends were on the other side of it.

I crawled through willingly enough.

I tumbled from the middle of the wall from very high up.

Pinhead himself greeted me warmly.

"I suppose your here to discuss your friends? And my little messenger boy?"

Pinhead twirled on his heel and strode down the dimly lit passage.

I stood rooted to the spot, Pinhead noticed I wasn't following.

"Come, we'll talk in my private office...I'd hate for Angelique to see you out here...She does so hate competition..."

"Freddy, what'd I get myself into for you guys?"

I quickly caught up to Elliot.

There was a thin smile playing at the corners of his lips.

It hit me.

He was plotting something.

I shuttered as I realized for the first time the consequences for coming here...

In my heart I knew the guys were worth it...

They were my only family.

They took care of me just as much as I took care of them.

If not more.

That gave me confidence...Until we reached Elliot's private office.

I'm possibly the only human who knows the inner workings of Hell better than my pastor.

It was not only a place of pain, it also housed misery and insanity.

The living embodiment was tied to a high backed chair in front of me.

Freddy glared at me.

My confidence was lost then.

"Hey Freddy,...What's up?" I asked sheepishly.

"Home." Was his curt reply.


	15. Deal

Disclaimer: I only own Heather and Alister.

(Sorry I haven't written for a while! I been busy with a few other stories...I'm making this chapter pretty long to make up for it. Here you go.)

"Home," Freddy repeated, "I want to go home."

Pinhead beckoned forward a woman from the shadows, stately and dangerous, all at once.

Pinhead looked at her fondly with the upmost respect and adoration.

Freddy looked horrified and like he was going to vomit.

"Angelique, this is Heather...the one who was 'babysitting' Fredrick and his friends?"

She snarled at me.

"So? Why is she here?"

"My guess is to plea their cases."

The cenobites turned their gaze to Freddy and I expectantly.

I worked up the courage to say what was on my mind.

"What do I have to do in order to get them out of here."

The thin smile was back.

"Smarter than I was led to believe, eh, Fredrick?"

Freddy's eyes dropped from my face to the floor.

"What?!" I asked, shocked at what I was hearing.

Angelique glanced my way breifly.

"He's been saying how your just a dumb..."

"BITCH!" Freddy yelled.

"That." Pinhead finished.

I turned to Freddy.

"You said that?!"

His blue eyes caught mine.

"Yes." He whispered.

I was close to tears.

I never thought that even Freddy would say that.

The guys always bragged about how smart I was to be 21, Freddy in particular.

He was like the Dad I didn't remember.

I jolted out of my thoughts realizing that someone's arm was around my shoulder, and someone else's hand was on my arm.

I looked to my left.

Angelique was appraisng me, or so I thought.

She was actually watching Pinhead's expression intently.

I did too.

He snapped out of his thoughts quickly enough.

They were leading me to the front of the office like encloser.

"I can't believe he would say that." I murmered.

Angelique patted my arm.

"I'm sorry, I knew..."

A icy stare from Angelique.

"We knew you were smarter than what he led on..."

I interrupted.

"I'm not smart in the least...If I were I wouldn't be here right now!"

Freddy was struggling against his bonds, but not talking.

"I propose we do a series of challenges in order to see who stays and goes back with you, what do you say."

I thought on it a minute.

"I'll get back to you on that, _after_ I talk things over with Freddy. Untie him."

The pair looked at me like I was insane.

Angelique's voice was angrier than it had been when I entered.

"You do not command us!"

My eyes locked on hers.

"Avert your eyes!" She squeaked.

"No, and I said untie him _now_."

Thank god my tone was even.

Pinhead used Freddy's glove to cut the ropes.

I took the glove from him.

"Thank you. May I have a word with Freddy alone for a momen?"

He shrugged.

"Of course."

The cenobites left the room.

I put on the glove.

It felt heavy and powerful on my hand.

Freddy backed away.

My anger burst forth.

My temper was my one weakness, I gave over to it to easily.

"Heather! Watch were your swinging that that glove! It could kill me!"

I had already slashed his arm with the glove.

I was working over everything else in my blind fury.

He was bloody.

It took me a moment to realize what was wrong.

The blood was red...not green.

He was his normal self, not a dream demon, which meant he was bleeding to death.

I dropped the glove.

"I'm dying you know." Freddy said casually as if it were the most normal thing to say.

I shrank back horrified and vomited, Pinhead outside the door winced at the sound.

"Clean-up aisle two."

I stepped forward pulling off my blouse showing my tank top.

"Damn." Freddy whispered.

I pressed the shirt to the worst wound and applied pressure.

"Stop."

I didn't.

"Just clean me up a little they're only little scratches."

He was right.

I began cleaning him up, when I touched the slash across his stomach he winced.

It was serious.

"I'm sorry!" I cried.

Freddy tried painfully to sit up, and couldn't manage.

I used my hand to wipe the sweat from his eyes.

I looked down at him.

Blonde hair, blue eyes...

I couldn't resist.

"Freddy, I think your dying again, and if it's any sort of help, you were a studly beast when you weren't burned to a crisp..."

He chuckled dispite the pain.

"And some how that doesn't help at all."

I thought for a moment.

"I saved you a trip to hell."

He was dead serious as he grabbed my arm.

"Hell is worth it as long as your happy. That's all I've ever cared about."

I shuttered.

What an unfatherly like thing to say.

That was something I'd prefered to have heard Alister whisper in my ear.

He went still.

I made the decision.

"I'll participate in the challenges, just help Freddy."

Pinhead stepped forward.

"If you lose, I keep all of you here."

I thought for a minute.

If he helped Freddy he could have me."

"Deal." I whispered.

Pinhead smiled, pranced forward and healed Freddy.

"Idiot, he always cheats." Freddy said loudly.

"You're worth it, all of you."


	16. Truth or Dare

I stood in the middle of the 'office'.

Pinhead looked from me to Freddy expectantly.

"Who wants to know what the first game is?!"

Freddy snarled.

"Tell us, oh mighty one....What's the first freak'in game?"

Pinhead looked upset for a brief second and then half smiled.

"Truth or dare...Extreme!"

Freddy slapped his forhead.

"Oh brother....The immaturity of some people...."

Angelique stepped forward and Freddy shrank back.

"I DIDN"T MEAN IT!!!!!! I SWEAR!!!!!!" He shrieked.

Angelique smiled cruely and turned to me.

"Truth or Dare?"


	17. V or not a V? That was the question

(Sorry about the delay...)

I smirked at this Angelique character.

"Truth." I answered cooly.  
Angelique glanced at Pinhead.

"Elliot, What should we ask?"

I giggled at the unsure tone in her voice...It took me half a minute to realize that she'd heard.

"And what, may I ask, is so funny?" She demanded angrily.

I shrugged glancing at Elliot and then at Freddy.

"I always just say the first thing that comes to mind.....I mean, It's not that hard...."

Freddy nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, like when she said truth...The first thing that popped into my head to ask was 'Are you still a virgin?'...."

He trailed off as I stared at him open mouthed.

"_What the hell are you doing asking a question like that anyway?!"_ I sputtered.

Freddy just shrugged again.

"Well...I wouldn't mind answering that one.....It's kinda obvious..."

Angelique grinned.

"Well Ms. Dunbar? Are you a virgin?"

I stepped back.

"Well, I, uh, I, uh.....yeah.....I am." I whispered the last part so no one would hear.

They all started roaring with laughter.

"What's so funny?!" I demanded.

"Y-y-you lied...And we know who it was......"

I stiffened.

"Oh shit...."


	18. Guest Apperance by:!

-Guest Apperance by:...Actually....I don't know who it should be....So can you guys make suggestions.


	19. Only once

I sighed and hung my head in shame.

"It was Krueger."

The cenobites roared with laughter. Angelique clutched Elliot's waist to keep herself upright.

"How romantic... You and Freddy bang'in on the couch in the boiler room-like two horney teenagers....tell me he was drunk.....Dear god, he'd have to be...."

Angelique was rolling in the floor laughing her ass off.

"El-Ellio-Jus-just-st-st-st-stop- IT!"

Pinhead watched Freddy's reaction.

Freddy leaned back against the table grinning.

"It wasn't that bad...."

I wanted to stand up for myself badly.....I just didn't know how...So, I sat back and prayed for a question to embaress the hell outta Angelique...

Then it hit me.

I sat up straight as Freddy made another adolesent joke about....uh, that night.

"Truth or Dare bitch?"

Angelique's nostrils flared.

"Never speak to me that wa-"

"Shut the fuck up and answer the question." I was in no mood to play games with her.

"Dare."

I laughted lightly.

"What's so funny?"

I glared across the table at the princess cenobite. Oh she disgusted me....

"The fact you can't pull up your big girl panties and say 'truth'." I spit the last part in her face viciously.

Angelique looked around and quietly answered: "Truth."

She and Elliot shifted uncomfortably, looking past one another.

I smiled.

"Only ever once and Kirsty doesn't know." Elliot answered quietly.

I grinned.

Freddy sighed.

"The next game I pick....I choose twister. We're playing for Jason."

The cenobites happily execepted the challenge leaving Freddy and I alone.

There was a long awkward silence.

"What needs to be said?" I asked turning toward my long time friend.

"Let's not discuss it right now....Okay? We'll find closure later..." He smiled.

My stomach flipped and my heart fluttered for half a second.

Oh god....I wasn't suppose to love Freddy.....

(CLIFF HANGER!!!!!!!)


End file.
